I don’t want to frighten you. But… Have you seen how many days it is until Summer officially starts? 😬 Don’t ask why I Googled that. Ok, it’s because I was getting a bit depressed by the lack of sunshine/warmth/excuses to sit in beer gardens with a G&T. But then, as usual, I ended up down a Google rabbit hole. And ended up looking at all the different ways there are to
keep start getting fit, and I realised something. It’s just too difficult. There’s too many different ways for a start. And not many of them take into account how fucking exhausting being a Mum is. So, my gift to you, on yet another cold, blustery, dark, damp and miserable day, is : Easy exercise ideas for busy Mums.
Easy exercise ideas.
We’re going to start off nice and easy with these easy exercise ideas for busy Mums.
First, we are going to do some warm up exercises.
Warming up exercises.
We are going to warm up our lungs first, because breathing is almost as important as sleeping.
So, what I want you to do is, take a few deep breaths – like the ones you do when someone tells you that you look ‘tired’ and you’re trying not to punch them.
Then, scroll down to look at this wonderful image of Ariel.
Now that you’ve had a good laugh, your lungs should be well warmed up. Good job!
The next body part on our warm up, are your eyes.
Now, these are very important for keeping watch over your little darlings as they ransack your house/car/handbag/anything you value. Or for keeping watch in Tesco so they don’t put kitkats in their pockets when you said they can’t have one.
So for this exercise, I want you to imagine that you’re 15, and your parent has just said :
“You’re not going out dressed like that.”Every parent since 2,000BC
That’s right, really roll those eyes.
OK. Now your eyes are warmed up, let’s move on to your heart.
Hearts are doubly important for parents because you need them to pump
gin blood around your body, and also to love every single shit drawing your child brings home.
Luckily, it doesn’t take much to warm up a heart. Any special memory should do it. It could be; the first time your child said Mum or the first time you realised you could heal a bumped knee with a kiss, or the first time you got more than 6 hours sleep in a week.
Awesome. Now you’re all warmed up, we can move on to the actual easy exercise ideas for busy Mums.
You’ll need a cup of tea/coffee and 6 biscuits for this exercise.*
First, find a clean(ish) area of your couch, and sit down comfortably. Place your feet on the floor, shoulder width apart, and your cup and biscuits on a table in front of you.
Slowly reach forwards with your right arm and lift the cup to your mouth, taking a couple of sips before gently placing it back down.
With your left arm, stretch forwards and lift a biscuit towards you. Place in your mouth and chew.
Use your right arm to reach forwards to lift your cup to your mouth and take a few more sips. Gently place down again.
Use your left arm to stretch towards the next biscuit, put it into your mouth and then relax your arm.
Repeat another 4 times until the cup is empty and all the biscuits have gone.
Tip : Alternate which arm lifts the cup and which arm lifts the biscuits for extra workout points.
Pro Tip : Use a large mug and hefty biscuits for maximum workout points.
*This exercise also works with a glass of wine/G&T and some nibbles.
The ideal place for these easy exercise ideas for busy Mums is wherever your children tend to leave the majority of their crap. You have a few options for exercising your legs;
- Low-impact hurdles. Where you repeatedly step over 24,654 toys as you try to make your way to the front door before the Amazon driver fucks off again. Tip : try to step over 2 at once for extra points.
- Kick-boxing. The aim of this exercise is to kick as many of your children’s toys back into their toy boxes as you can in under 5 minutes. Tip : Don’t try this with Lego. It hurts.
- Step-aerobics. This one is easy if you live in a house, and even easier if you only have an upstairs toilet and a weak bladder. You’ll be surprised at how many stairs you climb in a day. Tip : Wave or swing your arms for extra points as you climb.
Hands up if you’re happy with your Mum-Tum 🙌
Well, you SHOULD be, even if you aren’t. That was your child’s first home you know.
But don’t worry! There are some really easy exercise ideas for keeping your tummy trim.
- Have a lie down. Bed, sofa, floor, it doesn’t matter where. Because the second your body reclines more than a 90° angle, your child will need a drink. Or a snack. Or their bum wiped. And you’ll have to haul yourself upright again. Repeatedly.
- Pick crap up off the floor. Not literal crap (hopefully), but all the toys/shoes/biscuits/spoons/loom bands that have formed a new carpet.
- Lift a child up and hold them in one arm, then put them down again. Then pick them up, and then put them down again. Repeat infinitely unto they are around 7 years old.
- Hold your tummy in as much as you can and try to bend like a contortionist to get your child out the car safely. Bloody white van drivers stealing the last parent & baby parking space!
Again, these are super easy exercise ideas for busy Mums. And you can easily work these into your incredibly busy schedule.
Pick a time of day that’s incredibly stressful. You need to get the balance right here. It shouldn’t be so stressful that you’re considering committing a crime to get a few days peace at Her Majesty’s pleasure. But it should be stressful enough that you can’t remember what day it is.
OK. Suitably stressed? Excellent, let’s work on those glutes.
Find a space on a floor that doesn’t have Lego all over it, then get onto all fours facing the wall. Leave enough space between your head and the wall so that you can comfortably lean forward.
OK. Now we’re going to lean forward and bash our heads repeatedly against the wall. Each time you lean towards the wall, lift one of your legs up into the air behind you as high as you can. Keep it there for as many head bangs as you can handle. Then swap legs.
Repeat until you don’t feel so stressed anymore.
And there you go. Follow these easy exercise ideas for busy Mums, and you’ll be less stressed, and feeling more fit in no time.
I’ve written another incredibly helpful post called Parenting through the chaos : the never ending story which has lots of very helpful tips to get you through another day of parenting.
Disclaimer: you might not actually feel more fit but you might feel less stressed, which is almost the same thing.