After yesterday’s absolute failure of attempting to home school in the mad house, I thought I’d approach day 2 differently.
On a good day, this house is a mad house, and that’s with the sleep thieves in their respective places of education. So suddenly having free reign away from the adults they listen to (their teachers) resulted in zero schooling.

Yes it’s a mad house

I decided to approach day 2 in the mad house in a much more organised way. So when I saw the structured timetable (below) on The School Run and thought I’d try to follow their suggestions.

Motivating the mad house

Image credit :

Motivating the mad house

The School run’s schedule is what I was aiming for. But as day 2 fell on a Saturday, I decided to swap the focused learning slots with activity.
We usually take the dog for a longer walk than usual at weekends, so I thought we’d investigate a different open space for a change.

If you’ve ever read this blog post ➡️ Bodyform adverts made me do it! Honestly, you’ll know that these ‘great’ ideas of mine, are usually a disaster.

It took me FIVE hours to mobilise my troops ready for a walk. Yes, you read that right, hours, not minutes.
But it was a beautifully sunny day so I wasn’t giving up.

The plan was : to go somewhere new, collect as many different leaves as possible, take some photos, and do some exercise. And maybe try a spot of geocaching.
My thinking being : we could use the collected leaves to do a tree identification investigation (Science) and try to copy the photo they took with either paint, or collage (art), at some point this week. Great idea eh?

So, off I went onto the National Trust website to find somewhere new for us to explore.

3 problems of living in a mad house

The biggest problem of living in a mad house, is that despite having good ideas, and wanting to escape the mad house for a few hours, there’s always at least one thing that goes wrong.
Today was no exception to this, but had 3 specific problems. All of which were outside of my control.

Problem 1

National Trust closes parks and gardens, asking people to avoid travel and comply with government social distancing guidance. 
From midnight on 21 March the National Trust will close all of its gated gardens and parks to help restrict the spread of the coronavirus.”

So that put a dampener on things straight away.
All the places I had thought of going to were gated, and so closed.

But not being one to give up, I decided we’d go on our usual woodland walk, because it’s not gated and should still be open.

Problem 2

The girls and the dog got in the car, and we were about to drive off, when my brother appeared and pointed out that I had a flat tyre. So flat that it would be dangerous to drive on it, even to the garage to pump it up.

I knew exactly when that had happened, because I’d hit a massive pot hole in the dark the other night.

Fucking fantastic.

Sarcastic hand clap for the mad house

In order to change the tyre to the spare in the boot, I had to empty my boot. Which took about half an hour. It was absolutely full of muddy wellies, muddy shoes, coats, jumpers, school bags, umbrellas and even a missing PE kit buried at the bottom. Along with assorted crap.

Eventually, the boot was clear enough to get the spare tyre out. And I started taking everything into the house.

Problem 3

Unfortunately, opening the front door, caused a disappointed puppy to come running. Who then ran out of the house, out of the garden and down the road.
She would not come back, no matter how many times I called her.
She clearly decided to take herself for a walk, seeing as she’d been promised one, and then put straight back in to the mad house.

Ruby and I tried to catch her, but she wasn’t having any of it. She’s a Jackapoo, but she’s mostly Jack Russell : ie NAUGHTY. And she can run. Really. Bloody. Fast. And evade capture better then anything else I’ve ever known. (Except for our old Jack Russell).

The great escape

Snowy decided that running about our cul-de-sac was boring, and headed for the busier road instead.

I should point out that I’m overweight and unfit. And do not enjoy enforced running for any reason. Adding the possibility of the puppy being hit by a car, into the equation was very stressful, but also a good motivator to keep running. (Despite feeling like I was going to die, and cursing myself for enjoying too many carbs and having been a smoker for many years.)

Luckily, there were a few people walking down the road who tried to help catch her. Whilst a man tried to flag down vehicles and stop them from running her over whilst we tried to grab her.

Unfortunately, Snow decided this was some kind of very exciting game, and ran faster. Literally running massive circles around us, darting here and there, and having a great old time.

Crazy happy dog living in a mad house

My lungs were screaming at me, and my (not very well supported) boobs were aching from all the bouncing up and down caused by running the unscheduled half marathon.

Thankfully, someone managed to catch her, and I carried her back to the mad house, shutting her firmly behind the front door.

By the time my brother had changed my tyre for me, I really could not be arsed to go anywhere. And consoling myself with the fact that we’d all been running around for half an hour in the sunshine, therefore had done some exercise, we retreated back into the mad house, for some quality Netflix time.

It’s Sunday now. Day 3 of no school. In fact, it’s Mothering Sunday, and I have decided to award myself with doing nothing and going nowhere today. I am going to sit in my mad house all day. And just do low-key activities. Like laundry and feeding people. And that’s it.

I can’t wait to see what day 3 brings 🙄


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