I have a few issues with World Book Day. Mainly the dressing up aspect of it. It is migraine inducing. It’s so stressful trying to find things that would turn my children into something remotely resembling a character from their favourite book. Actually, it’s hard enough trying to get them to pick a favourite book and stick with it for a day. The whole thing makes me want to say fuck it, just have the day off school.
Which I’m sure is not the point.
Shockingly, (I know, I know!), I’m not one of those super crafty, resourceful Mums with a sewing machine and a shed full of material, sequins, feathers and whatnot. I tried to be her once. Many moons ago. And spent 3 days supergluing plastic gems onto a massive handmade tulle skirt. Don’t be impressed. Because I also superglued my fingers to my fingers. And shouted fuck it, fuck this, fuck that, fuck off and fuck you more times than I should have done in the presence of small ears.
If you’re one of those crafty Mums, props to you and all that, but you make the rest of us look bad. Bitches.
Fuck it, here comes the rant
I have a few issues with WBD unsurprisingly.
Firstly. It is World BOOK day. Not World dressing up day for fucks sake! What’s wrong with kids just taking a treasured book into school and telling their classmates about it? Surely that would encourage children to try reading something different. Or reading at all actually. There’s not much more likely to make a child read a book than to hear their friend raving about it. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Encouraging children all over the World to read?
How is having 89% of the whole school dressed in mass-produced outfits from Asda promoting reading? Honestly, there are that many girls all wearing the same Princess dress that you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d stumbled across a Disney school and that that was the school uniform. It’s just so uninspired and so boring and so commercialised. But what choice do you have? Really? If you’re not a Pinterest Queen with your own haberdashery, what else are you supposed to do? Priming it doesn’t count by the way. (Is priming a word? As in to Amazon Prime something?)
Fuck it. I’m going to be honest with you now. I refuse point blank to go and spend money on a shitty dressing up outfit that’s only going to be worn once, for about 6 hours. Call me a killjoy, call me a bad Mum, I don’t care.
It was different when my kids were younger. Until about age 5 or 6, I could barely get any of them out of dressing up outfits. But now? It’s hard enough to get them to dress up for Halloween when they want to. Actually, for one of them, it’s hard enough to get her to put any clothes on full stop.
So forcing them to wear something they really don’t want to would be cruel.
Secondly, I have one daughter in the throes of puberty where body image is a massive thing at the minute. She won’t wear anything that she doesn’t think looks right, feels right or anything that draws attention to her. So dressing up is out.
I can’t imagine how hard it must be for parents of children with sensory issues.
The other thing I hate about World Book Day is playground politics. If you send your child in wearing something you’ve spent hours crafting, you’re judged as a show off. If you send your child in wearing a mass-produced outfit, you’re judged as unimaginative. Should you dare to send your child in wearing ‘home clothes’ with some lame link to a character in a book, guess what? You’re judged as lazy. There is literally no way to win at this game.
Fuck that, buy books!
It would be so much nicer if World Book Day was just a normal Mufti day. Where the kids could wear what they’re comfortable in, pay a quid (or more if you’re flush) and bring in their favourite book. Then the school could collect in all the money and use it to buy new books for the school library. Books that could be enjoyed by many children for many years. Books that promote and encourage reading.
Nobody has a favourite
Thirdly, my children don’t have a favourite book. We read copiously. I love books. They love books. I love reading, and so do they. But we read all kinds of books. Fiction and non-fiction. Their favourite is whatever they are currently reading. We’ve moved past the age where they want to read the same fucking book 42 times a day every day for 6 months. So how do they pick a favourite?
My daughter’s friend’s Mum has got the right idea. She’s sending her daughter in wearing a unicorn onesie. She already owned it, it’s worn a lot, it’s warm and comfortable and there’s loads of books about unicorns. It’s actually a genius idea. Which I would steal if we had any unicorn stuff. But we don’t.
So fuck it. I’m sending mine in to school wearing their favourite, comfortable pajamas (the ones without holes in them), If anyone asks them what they are supposed to be, they can either lie and say they’re a character from a book that wears pajamas, or they can be honest and say their Mum’s a lazy bitch and would rather buy them books than dressing up outfits.