Week one’ of social distancing is almost done. Wahoo! And even better than surviving that, is that UK clocks go forward tonight, shaving a whole hour off our incarceration. If you survived it easily – well done. But if you struggled more than you would like to admit (like me), I’ve come up with a little game of bingo, just for parents.

So. In my best ever gameshow host voice : Let’s play social distancing bingo!

Bingo gif

The rules of social distancing bingo

The rules are pretty simple really. For each number you mark off, have a drink.

To ensure you don’t pass out peak too early, There are 3 rounds to social distancing bingo:

One : Between your eyelids being prised open and lunch time. (Recommended drink : Bucks Fizz or similar.)

Two : After lunch. (Recommended drink : Spritzers.)

Three : Early evening onwards. (Recommended drink : spirits, full glasses of wine.)

Ok, let’s play social distancing bingo | parent’s edition

Round one

Take a drink for every one you have done.

Round 1 social distancing bingo

1. Repeated the same sentence 5 times (or more) before 8am.

2. Argued over what constitutes a ‘breakfast food’.

3. Gave up asking children to get dressed.

4. Re-heated a cup of coffee/tea then still forgot to drink it.

5. Cursed a piece of technology for being shit.

6. Refused 7 snack requests between breakfast & lunch.

Round two

Take a drink when you’ve completed any of these.

Social distancing bingo round 2

1. Thrown child’s lunch in the bin after they refused to eat it.

2. Considered throwing a laptop/tablet at the wall in frustration at it not working properly.

3. Googled “how to stop your children killing each other”.

4. Went for a wee by yourself.

5. Remembered you haven’t showered yet.

6. Defended remaining snacks from attack by small people.

Round three

Take a drink when you’ve completed any of these.

Social distancing bingo round 3

1. Wiped away (your) tears.

2. Failed to speak to another adult all day.

3. Locked yourself in your bathroom with a packet of biscuits.

4. Screamed “Just give me a bloody minute to myself” 4 times in an hour.

5. Googled “how to get slime off the curtains”.

6. Fed the kids for the 40th time in a day.

Bonus round

This round only has one objective : Get the kids into bed and asleep before 10pm.
Should you manage to get through all 3 rounds and complete the bonus round, you may consume as much alcohol or chocolate as you please without feeling guilty.

Well done parents! You’ve survived another day. Congratulations! Feel free to download and save your award.

Social distancing survivor award


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